More than just fun 'n' games. They can be a social experience – in a single room or over the Internet. For some families, they can be a way to get together. They're also an evolving art form, like film. And research has shown that many games can be learning tools – for math, probability, economics, strategic thinking, negotiation, and other skills – which is why some educators use them in their classrooms.

Families that play together.... Parents, playing videogames with your kids is a great way to understand gaming and watch their interests and development. A common interest also makes for great family discussions and casual conversations.

Ratings are helpful. Pay attention to the Entertainment Software Rating Board’s videogame ratings at ESRB.org, both the age rating (like E for Everyone, T for Teen and M for Mature) and content descriptors (like “Suggestive Themes,” “Language” or “Violence”). Remember, some children can handle games rated above their age group, others can’t. Age ratings are guidelines – the final decision is up to you.

Preview the game. If after checking the ratings, you’re still not sure if a game is appropriate, there are a ton of resources you can consult on the Internet. WhatTheyPlay.com and CommonSenseMedia.org provide game reviews that are written specifically from a parent’s perspective.

Tweak the safety settings. All handheld devices and game consoles have helpful safety settings that families will want to go over together. Parental control options on gaming devices include: pre-approving friend requests to play online, controlling the types of games that can be played, disabling Internet access, and limiting the duration or time of day that a child can play.

Trash talk's a reality. It may not be pretty, some of it could be abusive, but it's not necessarily all bad. Just like there's trash talk on the football field, it happens in games and virtual worlds, too. Most games today can be played online, communicating with other players via text chat, talk, or Webcam video, Parents, check in on what happens in videogame play, but know that aggressive and “colorful” language isn’t necessarily hurtful. If your child is being harassed online, be sure he or she knows how to deal with it. Often players can block harassers or report them to the game’s publisher.

A balanced (activity) diet is good. What really isn't good is excessive gaming. Some gaming devices have password-protected settings that parents can use to limit how long and when kids can play. Tech controls can be very helpful, but a focus on values more than rules and talking with your kids are usually the best approach in parenting gamers and all online kids.

Don't hurt yourself! Be aware of how gaming affects players – from sleep patterns to repetitive stress injuries to the chance of hurting people or the furniture with those fast-moving controllers in gamers' hands. Eat, sleep, and take breaks (but don't eat too much)!

Consoles play more than games. Some videogame consoles can be used to watch DVDs, stream movies and other video content, surf the Web and communicate. Be aware of game devices' capabilities and their built-in parental controls. When gaming connects to the Net and gamer communities, all your family's regular online-safety rules should apply.

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© 2010 ConnectSafely.org

Most "smart phones" and even some regular cellphones allow you to run location-sharing software that uses the phone’s GPS capability to let friends and family know your exact location. There are lots of great uses for this technology: It can be an easy way to find your friends and be found by them; it can reduce anxiety for loved ones by keeping them posted on your whereabouts; and there are some fun games and activities that take advantage of it, such as scavenger hunts and services that track how often you visit certain establishments. These services are not for children under 13 and many require users to be 18, so make sure you're permitted to use an app or service, and – parents – we recommend that you ask your kids if they're using these services and how.

Choose what's best for you. Some location-sharing services are games that let you give a shout-out when you've turned up at a particular spot. Others show where you are all the time or for a period of time you set. Still others continue to share your location until you change the setting. Be sure you know exactly how your service shares your location.

Know the service’s privacy features. All services have privacy controls. Definitely get to know them and use these features to be sure that you have complete control over who knows your location.

Know who your friends are. Some location services operate like Facebook and other social network sites, where you invite and accept friends. This means people can search to see if you're online and add you as a friend. It’s important to remember that sharing your location with people you've never met in real life is risky, so you should carefully manage friend requests and share your location only with people you know and trust. Make sure any service you choose gives you complete control over who sees your whereabouts.

Syncing with other services. If your location-sharing app syncs up with Facebook, Twitter or another service, you may be broadcasting your whereabouts to a lot of people without even knowing it. You might even be sharing your location with people you don’t know. Check to see if your service does sync with other services and be sure to manage this very carefully. It’s probably best to turn off this feature and just use the service’s own sharing tools so you can reveal your location only to people you feel comfortable with.

Check back often. Some services automatically stop sending your location after a period of time, but others will send it forever – until you stop it. Review your contact list periodically and delete anyone to whom you no longer feel comfortable revealing your location.

Can others disclose your location? There are services that allow others to “check you in” to a location. Check any location or social networking services you use to see if they offer this feature and, if so, learn how they work and the privacy features for them. Think about whether you want to keep others from finding you and never reveal other people’s location without checking with them first.

Updating parents. Location-based services are a great way for teens to let parents know where they are without having to call or text. Check-ins ease worries so they don't have to follow your every move. If you’re heading home late at night, you can also use a service like Glympse to share your location as you drive, so they'll know if you have car trouble or get stuck in traffic. Informed parents are happy parents.

If you'd like to print these tips out, here's a PDF version. Please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it for permission to reprint or post.

© 2010 ConnectSafely.org

Virtual worlds are online spaces where kids create avatars (kind of like cartoon characters) through which they communicate, socialize, learn, shop, play games, and generally express themselves. There are hundreds of virtual worlds on the Web aimed at users of all ages. Some aimed at young children have controlled text chat, "profanity filters" to block offensive or sexually related chat, and staff or contractors moderating user behavior – you'll want to check for these safety features. Parents also need to know that there are worlds kids can find and access which are not designed for them.

As with all kids' online experiences, the No. 1 safety practice is routine parent-child communication. Keeping it low-key and frequent helps our kids come to us when stuff comes up. The most likely risks in kids' virtual worlds, just like on school playgrounds, are cyberbullying or peer harassment and social-circle drama – including clubby behavior and kids playing "teenager" and talking about "boyfriends," "girlfriends," "breakups," etc. The latter escalates and gets more sexually charged as they head into middle-school age. Language filters help, but kids can be creative with workarounds (see below). The main thing you need to know is that virtual worlds are user-driven: Positive experiences depend on users' behavior toward each other and how well the space is supervised. Here are some pointers for safe, constructive in-world experiences.

Virtual worlds are online spaces where people create avatars (graphical representations of themselves) through which they communicate, socialize, learn, shop, play games, and generally express themselves. There are hundreds of virtual worlds on the Web aimed at users of all ages. Most aimed at youth have safety features, such as language filtering that restricts explicit, mean, or profane language. Some virtual worlds have people monitoring user behavior, while others leave it up to users to police themselves and their community.

So the No. 1 safety tip for virtual worlds, as for anything else, is good parent-child communication. Low-key, routine discussion about online experiences, just as with offline ones, makes it easier for them to talk with you when things come up. The most likely risks for teens in virtual worlds, just like in school halls and elsewhere, are cyberbullying or harassment and sexually suggestive communication among peers. Language filters help, but kids often have workarounds. Examples are alternative text understood by peers and various mean behaviors, such as ostracizing, ignoring, or reporting on peers with untruthful abuse reports; stalking others' avatars; and using people's passwords against them. Here are some pointers for safe, constructive in-world experiences.

Here are some tips if you or someone you know is being bullied - and advice for ending (or preventing) the cycle of aggression.

Don't respond. If someone bullies you, remember that your reaction is usually exactly what the bully wants. It gives him or her power over you. Who wants to empower a bully?

Don't retaliate. Getting back at the bully turns you into one and reinforces the bully's behavior. Help avoid a whole cycle of aggression.

Save the evidence. The only good news about digital bullying is that the harassing messages can usually be captured, saved, and shown to someone who can help. Save evidence even if it's minor stuff - in case things escalate.

Block the bully. If the harassment's coming in the form of instant messages, texts, or profile comments, do yourself a favor: Use preferences or privacy tools to block the person. If it's in chat, leave the "room." This may not end the problem, but you don’t need harassment in your face all the time, and no reaction sometimes makes aggressors bored so they’ll stop.

Reach out for help. You deserve backup. Of course you know there are different kinds of help, from talking with a friend to seeing if there’s a trusted adult who can help. It's usually good to involve a parent but - if you can't - a school counselor can sometimes be helpful. If you're really nervous about saying something, see if there's a way to report the incident anonymously at school. Sometimes this can result in bullies getting the help they need to change their behavior.

Use reporting tools. If the bullying took place via a social network, use that service’s reporting or “abuse” tools. The social network may also have “social abuse-reporting” tools, which allow you to forward hurtful content to a trusted friend or directly ask someone to take offensive content down. If the abuse threatens physical harm, you may have to call the police, but think about involving a parent if you do.

Be civil. You're doing yourself a favor. Even if you don't like a person, it's a good idea to be decent and not sink to his or her level. Research shows that gossiping about and "trash talking" others increase your risk of being bullied.

Don't be a bully. You know the old saying about walking a mile in someone's shoes; even a few seconds of thinking about how another person might feel can put a big damper on aggression. That's needed in this world.

Be a friend, not a bystander. Forwarding mean messages or just standing by and doing nothing empowers bullies and hurts victims even more. If you can, tell bullies to stop, or let them know bullying is not cool - it's cruel abuse of fellow human beings. If you can't stop the bully, at least try to help the victim and report the behavior.

If you'd like to print these tips out, here's a PDF version. Please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it for permission to reprint or post.

© 2011 ConnectSafely.org

* Cyberbullying & Cyberthreats: Responding to the Challenge of Online Social Aggression, Threats, and Distress, by Nancy Willard
* Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard: Preventing and Responding to Cyberbullying, by Sameer Hinduja and Justin Patchin
* Cyber Bullying: A Prevention Curriculum for Grades 3-5 and Cyber Bullying: A Prevention Curriculum for Grades 6-12, by Susan Limber, Robin Kowalski, and Patricia Agatston

"Sexting" usually refers to teens sharing nude photos via cellphone, but it's happening on other devices and the Web too. The practice can have serious legal and psychological consequences, so - teens and adults - consider these tips!

A strong password is your first line of defense against intruders and imposters.

Never give out your password to anyone (except your parents). Never give it to friends, even if they’re really good friends. A friend can – accidentally, we hope – pass your password along to others or even become an ex-friend and abuse it.

Don’t just use one password. It’s possible that someone working at a site where you use that password could pass it on or use it to break into your accounts at other sites.

Create passwords that are easy to remember but hard for others to guess. When possible, use a phrase such as “I started 7th grade at Lincoln Middle School in 2004” and use the initial of each word like this: “Is7gaLMSi2004.”

Make the password at least 8 characters long. The longer the better. Longer passwords are harder for thieves to crack.

Include numbers, capital letters and symbols. Consider using a $ instead of an S or a 1 instead of an L, or including an & or % – but note that $1ngle is NOT a good password. Password thieves are onto this. But Mf$1avng (short for “My friend Sam is a very nice guy) is an excellent password.

Don't use dictionary words:  If it's in the dictionary, there is a chance someone will guess it. There's even software that criminals use that can guess words used in dictionaries.

Don't post it in plain site: This might seem obvious but studies have found that a lot of people post their password on their monitor with a sticky note. Bad idea.  If you must write it down, hide the note somewhere where no one can find it.

Consider using a password manager. Programs or Web services like RoboForm (Windows only) or Lastpass (Windows and Mac) let you create a different very strong password for each of your sites. But you only have to remember the one password to access the program or secure site that stores your passwords for you.

Don't fall for "phishing" attacks. Be very careful before clicking on a link (even if it appears to be from a legitimate site) asking you to log in, change your password or provide any other personal information. It might be legit or it might be a "phishing" scam where the information you enter goes to a hacker. When in doubt, log on manually by typing what you know to be the site's URL into your browser window.

Make sure your computer is secure. The best password in the world might not do you any good if someone is looking over your shoulder while you type or if you forget to log out on a cybercafe computer. Malicious software, including “keyboard loggers” that record all of your keystrokes, has been used to steal passwords and other information. To increase security, make sure you're using up-to-date anti-malware software and that your operating system is up-to-date.

Consider a “password” for your phone too. Many phones can be locked so that the only way to use them is to type in a code, typically a string of numbers. Sometimes when people with bad intentions find unlocked phones, they use them to steal the owners' information, make a lot of calls, or send texts that look like they're coming from the owner. Someone posing as you could send texts that make it look like you're bullying or harassing someone in your address book with inappropriate images or words.

If you'd like to print these tips out, here's a PDF version. Please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it for permission to reprint or post.

For more information:

* How to create and remember strong passwords
* Facing the pain of passwords (CNET News)
* Strong passwords: How to create and use them (Microsoft)

© 2010 ConnectSafely.org

These tips, based on the latest research, will help teens' socializing stay fun and safe on both the fixed and mobile social Web.

These tips for parents about safety on the social Web are based on the latest research from the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire (with input from our colleagues there).

Cellphones are increasingly full-blown handheld computers, and everything that can be done on the Web via computer – photo-sharing, Web browsing, game playing, tune-swapping, real-time text chat, and (oh yeah) talking – can be done on a phone. Here are some basic ideas for keeping mobile phone use safe and constructive: